Category Archives: Scat Writing

Articles that contain scatalogical references.
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You Are What You Read

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Today, I listened to a speaker talk about the need to connect with your uninhibited, playful inner child in order to access your creativity and confidence. She spoke of childlike curiosity—I don’t think she was referring to the way kids explore the insides of their noses–and opined on the ease with which the very young mix with their peers.[1] No… Read more »

Sex and Dung and Six-foot Hole

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“The following article contains euphemisms for, and references to, matters scatological (albeit in the best possible taste). Reader discretion is advised.” Or to put it another way, if poo isn’t your cup of tea, please move on. About a year ago, the New Zealand Herald’s website carried an article that ridiculed the way society avoids talking directly about procreation, defecation,… Read more »

Fifty Names to Give Your Crapper

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Abandoned Outhouse

It’s a while since I resorted to toilets for humour, and after writing last week’s article (in which I bemoaned the beating-about-the-bush that goes on when using the facilities outside of our own home), I felt the need to compile my own list of euphemisms for that place. I did my best to limit this list to words that are… Read more »

Making a Case for Outdoor Facilities

Abandoned Outhouse

I’m old enough to have lived in a house with “outdoor plumbing”. That, by the way, is a euphemism for an outdoor toilet. In my case, it was a flush toilet with a tank on the wall near the ceiling and a chain-pull to flush, and it connected to the municipal sewer network. Many have lived with outhouses as their… Read more »

Empty Nesters – Again

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A few weeks ago, I wrote that we had American robins nesting in our yard, and that I’d pointed a video camera at them. So far, political correctness hasn’t reached the level of insanity where shooting video of birds without their permission gets me arrested for voyeurism or sued for taking unauthorized images of minors. I finally got around to… Read more »

Nature, Red in Tooth and Claw

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Here at the Hatchery (an appropriate name, given the topic), we’ve been watching a pair of American robins attend to their young the last couple of weeks. The eggs hatched about a week ago, and the four nestlings have been waited on wing and claw ever since. I set up a video camera at a respectable distance and left it… Read more »

Tinkling in Tingsryd

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It seems that there will be more than a tinkle going on in the school washrooms in the Swedish town of Tingsryd. A councillor has proposed piped music as a way of catering to students who worry about the noises they might make when they use the facilities. Disclosure. Although I’m presenting the subject in a facetious (faecetious?) style, please… Read more »

The Latest Fashion Accessory

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News item:  Luxury fashion house Balenciaga launches US$2100 tote that looks like IKEA’s $0.99 “Frakta” bag. The marketing department of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Prada Fashion Inc. (ICBINP, pronounced “Ick-bee-inp”) was holding a crisis meeting. Six of the most un-conservatively-dressed people on the planet sat around a table shaped like Italy, waiting for the Vice President to speak. She… Read more »

Make It So, Number Two

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This one was too good to miss! The BBC recently informed the world that Sir Patrick Stewart (he of Jean-Luc Picard fame in Star Trek: The Next Generation) would be voicing an emoji in an upcoming animated film called… The Emoji Movie. I kid you not. “Which emoji?” I hear you ask? “This one,” I reply, hoping I’ve not infringed… Read more »

The Pooseum

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If you’re averse to scatological pieces, you may prefer to read some of my other (faeces-free) pieces. It was my daughter who recently pointed out a common thread in many of my articles. “Dad,” she said, “you seem to have a fixation with poo.” To many people, such an observation made by offspring to sire might seem shocking, but here… Read more »