I recently took a tour round the historic area of a university town. A guide provided commentary as he punted us from building to building. One that he pointed out was covered in climbing ivy, but he informed us that it was ivory that adorned the walls. You may think this a slip of the tongue until I tell you… Read more »
Short and sweet (or it might be puff and spice) this week. I wrote this back in February for a cub scout campfire, but didn’t use it. Seemed a waste not to use it, so since I hate wasting food, here it is. O camembert, sour dough and grated ham Choux pastry, spuds, in olives, nuts and spam With apple… Read more »
Do these initialisms mean anything to you? S.O.S.; S.M.A.R.T.; R.I.C.E.; S.A.M.P.L.E.; F.A.S.T.; C.A.L.M… I promised myself I wouldn’t rant on this website, yet here I go again! The topic is initialisms masquerading as mnemonics (words that help you remember stuff). Mnemonics work, as long as you remember both the mnemonic and what it’s intended to remind you of. It also… Read more »
I’m thinking of changing my last name (aka surname). How do “Kelvin Humorist”, “Kelvin Bigrock”, “Kelvin Bignose” or “Kelvin Barking” sound? Many surnames in many countries originate from a person’s occupation (Cooper, Fletcher, Potter) or some land feature or building near where they lived (Brooks, Church, Green), some aspect of their physical appearance (Short, Brown), or where they were originally… Read more »
It’s a while since I resorted to toilets for humour, and after writing last week’s article (in which I bemoaned the beating-about-the-bush that goes on when using the facilities outside of our own home), I felt the need to compile my own list of euphemisms for that place. I did my best to limit this list to words that are… Read more »
The art of digging is dying. No, I’m not looking for a gravedigging pun here. (Actually, I did look, but couldn’t find one.) Long considered men’s work, most men could handle a spade and a shovel quite well even if they didn’t labour for a living, because so many families grew their own vegetables. Many women would have become expert… Read more »
When an English-speaking person migrates across the Atlantic, he (or she) discovers that he (or she) [don’t labour the point…] has to re-learn the language. Mrs. H discovered this only a few weeks after we moved to Canada. She was volunteering in our daughter’s grade two class and asked a child for a rubber. Yes, the kids—the grade two kids—picked… Read more »
I have a concern about something that’s of vital importance to music composers everywhere. It’s this: are we anywhere near running out of unique tunes; riffs; melodies? This question pops into my mind from time to time when I hear certain songs. George Harrison’s My Sweet Lord, Men at Work’s Down Under, and The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony are three such… Read more »
How much of a potty mouth are you? Parents: have your offspring ever heard you swear, or worse, have they learned to swear from you? Why is there even such a concept as swear words? (Don’t expect an answer to that here!) Mother Do You Think He’ll Drop the F-Bomb? This past weekend (March 25th), I was involved in a… Read more »
There will be no winners in World War III. We’ll all get participation medals, and whatever it was (hairstyles? Is it the Hokey Cokey or the Hokey Pokey? Which end of an egg is the top?) that started the war will remain unresolved so that we can fight World War IV (a name that has a nice rhythm to it)… Read more »