This one was too good to miss! The BBC recently informed the world that Sir Patrick Stewart (he of Jean-Luc Picard fame in Star Trek: The Next Generation) would be voicing an emoji in an upcoming animated film called… The Emoji Movie. I kid you not. “Which emoji?” I hear you ask? “This one,” I reply, hoping I’ve not infringed… Read more »
“Overdue library book returned to school 120 years late” ran the headline on the BBC’s Hereford and Worcester news website in December 2016. The granddaughter of a pupil of the Hereford Cathedral School found the book in her collection and realized that it should have been returned sometime between 1886 and 1894. Late return fines (currently £0.17 per day) would… Read more »
It’s one of a kind folks! A genuine, live, Australian fur seal gracing the hood of your car! That’s what the owner of a Toyota sedan discovered on Boxing Day, according to this article. The Toyota in question was parked in Newstead, a suburb of Launceston, Tasmania, and according to the local police, the seal had made its way along… Read more »
(Note to the uninitiated—“Cholmondeley” is pronounced “Chumley”. Honest!) The old year had been unceremoniously booted out the door, down the street, and over a convenient cliff nearby. The new year had been welcomed with open arms, ringing bells, popping fireworks, and as much general enthusiasm as a group of people who had celebrated the New Year exactly the same way… Read more »
“It’s our xxx year anniversary today.” Which semi-literate started this? And why do seemingly educated people perpetuate it? An anniversary is the celebration, commemoration, observation, remembrance or recognition of something that happened on the same date in a prior year. The word “year” is unnecessary. Today is the 39th anniversary of my first date with my missus. I will not… Read more »
In polite circles, the cheese course is served towards the end of a meal, with the inclusion of crackers optional. Here in the Hatchery, we know little about politeness; and for yours truly at least, cheese is a food group all by itself. Nothing special—mousetrap cheese usually does the job. But even in the politest households in many countries, there’s… Read more »
Dire warnings may make good headlines/clickbait, but I’m fed up with the world being controlled by fear—fear of weather conditions, fear of bad people, fear of out-of-date or under-cooked food: fear of sasquatch wandering down main street, aliens stealing our patio sets, or ghosts coming up the toilet and haunting our nether regions. There are real things to worry about…. Read more »
For a while now, the world’s been treated to people yelling “Okay Google…” or “Hey Siri…” at their smartphones and then proceeding to ask (? Tell?) said “assistant” to do something (most popular “somethings” include asking for the answers to “What’s the meaning of life, the universe and everything” and “Why are fire trucks/engines red?”) As far as I know,… Read more »
I don’t suppose your parents wrote down (or recorded?) your first words, did they? Or perhaps you actually remember them yourself; a babble that elicited tears of joy, and cries of “o-o-o-o-ohhh! You said your first w-o-r-d! I must phone your grandma/auntie/probation officer!” Most people’s first word is “mama”, and naturally mum gets excited because it was her that baby… Read more »
Personal experiences are not the best fodder for articles unless they’re paradigm-changing, or heroic, or they cure world hunger. So I’m going to couch this article about my social media virginity in terms of questions that social media harlots can relate to. Last week I tried to describe the inner turmoil of a person who doesn’t see the point of… Read more »