Author Archives: Kelvin

Increasing Your Visibility or Selling Your Soul?

What’s your take on the “ample supply” of pictures of funny kittens, cute puppies and fluffy bunnies that are doing the rounds on social media? Opinions likely span the entire spectrum, from “Jail the kitten posters” to “We need fluffy bunny pictures everywhere, and I mean everywhere!” Who knows—the spectrum may be even wider! My blogs recently celebrated their first… Read more »

Collectibles

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How many things never cease to amaze you? The arrogance of politicians, the naivety of optimists, the gullibility of people who go to timeshare presentations, the stupidity of politicians, the number of cars on the road, the polarization of the climate change debate, the duplicity of politicians, the size of this week’s lottery prize, the amount of garbage discarded by… Read more »

Rooster and another Old Neologism

Where are you on the hedonist/libertine–puritan spectrum? As with much in life, moderation is surely the key, so you should be somewhere in the middle. (After all, we need balance, and fulcrums do tend to be somewhere in the middle…) Wine, women and song (or, according to your taste, absinthe, men and poetry; or moonshine, sheep and haiku) twenty-four hours… Read more »

Is it Just a Label?

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Are you in your youth, early adulthood, middle age, or old age? Turns out, it depends. Speaking (okay—writing) as someone in a grey area between two of the labels, I have an interest in the answer, and you may have too. And given that the area is, indeed grey, you’ll possibly work out that the two categories I refer to… Read more »

Okotoks is Ok Right Now (Maybe NSFW?)

A few weeks ago, you may have read that the day we’re all barcoded (or QR coded) would be the day it wouldn’t matter what you call your offspring. (The context was the abominable alphabet spaghetti of spellings that parents use when naming their progeny.) Tattoo Parlours worldwide must be looking forward to that day—business will boom! Although, since they’d… Read more »

Don’t Play With Matches!

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Almost since the first friction-ignited matches were invented in 1826, I’m sure parents have been warning their kids about matches. This weekend I learned that it’s reached the ridiculous point where kids will not or cannot use matches. Originally, parental warnings might have been more to do with the dangers of white phosphorous than fire. These “Lucifers” were not only… Read more »

Cardboard Cutouts

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Mrs. H. and I have just made this informal arrangement wherein whichever one of us dies first, the other will have a cardboard cutout of our late spouse made. Sounds creepy, doesn’t it! But “it’s not what you think.” (How many times have you heard that defence being used?) It’s all to do with remembering things and solving problems. Back… Read more »

Commuter Chat

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A Londoner of American extraction has launched an attempt to get London commuters talking to each other. If you’ve ever travelled on the London Underground, you’ll know the issue. Commuters studiously avoid making eye contact let alone conversation. Any communication (such as “that seat is reserved for disabled people”) that can be mimed is mimed. From my limited experience elsewhere… Read more »

A Purrrfect Purrrse

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Question. What do you do with a dead feral cat? The answer depends on a number of factors, such as “Apart from being dead, is it in good shape?” (quite literally!) and “What talents and skills do you possess that are compatible with disposal of a dead cat?” If you’re a taxidermist, I guess you’d stuff and mount it (no,… Read more »

Abbreviations; Not Such a New Thing

Here at the Hatchery, it’s SNAFU once again, after a period of our schedules being FUBAR. For a while there, my waking thought each day was “ADIH”. AFAIK we should be able to settle into a routine for a while—and that’s OK by me. Phone’s ringing. BRB. Sorry ‘bout that. Texting, Twitter, and instant communication in general have all created… Read more »