(~2 minutes to read)
For a while now, the world’s been treated to people yelling “Okay Google…” or “Hey Siri…” at their smartphones and then proceeding to ask (? Tell?) said “assistant” to do something (most popular “somethings” include asking for the answers to “What’s the meaning of life, the universe and everything” and “Why are fire trucks/engines red?”)
As far as I know, there’s no “please” expected or required. In fact, I suspect that poor old Siri and her Android counterpart would get confused by the words and try to process them as part of the request/order.
The good news is that if you thank the assistant (? Servant? Slave? SIRI = “Slave In Reg’s Iphone”), you receive an acknowledgement such as “I aim to please” (Apple TV ) or “You’re welcome” (Samsung Galaxy).
Wouldn’t it be fun if the developers took this further? For example, Siri could refuse service until you’ve thanked him/her for services already rendered. They could call it “Siri’s your mum” mode, and it could start out with something like “What’s the magic word?” and progress through “where are your manners young man/lady” and “How many more times do I have to remind you” to “Well, I can’t ground you, but I can remove phone privileges for a few days. Shutting down… now.”
This politeness could be extended to asking after your assistant’s health, in whatever idiomatic way you and your fellow countrypeople use. “How’s it goin’” would be an informal and reasonably universal form of enquiry. Siri understands “How are you”, but struggles with “glad to hear it” given in response to his/her reply.
And since we’re in “smartphone assistants matter” mode, how about you send Christmas greetings to him/her? He/she will respond accordingly if you say “Merry Christmas”, but shouldn’t you be showing more gratitude and affection to an entity that works tirelessly for you throughout the year? Some kind of e-card perhaps. Or maybe sing a verse of “Siri did you know” (unless your phone is an Android…).
You should, however, guard against developing too close a friendship with him/her, in case you lose the art of human interaction. Having said that, there are many who would say a conversation with Siri is infinitely preferable to a conversation with me!
Perhaps that should be my life goal—to become a smartphone assistant. It’s almost a form of immortality, isn’t it?