Headline: Driver caught practising bagpipes at wheel I’ve never hidden my feelings about bagpipes. My heart bursts at the sight and sound of a lone piper playing on a heather-carpeted ben across the glen from my vantage point. That solitary figure seems to magnify the sense of space; isolation; desolation. And the sound—it’s so mournful, and evocative of the Scottish… Read more »
Headline: London Buses to Be Powered by Coffee Needless to say, this was a clickbait headline—coffee’s far too valuable a commodity to waste on powering transportation. But apparently, the new biofuel will be a blend of oils extracted from the coffee grounds and diesel. I’m not sure if this is an attempt to be innovative in the use of waste,… Read more »
This past summer, I wrote a piece about political correctness where fruits and vegetables are concerned. It was based on a fictitious future (circa 2032) news item about scientists having discovered that fruit and veg can understand human languages. This led fruit and veggie advocates to inform the world that expressions such as “red as a beetroot”, “blow a raspberry”… Read more »
News headline: Sheepdog puppy led a herd of sheep into his owners’ home To paraphrase the UB40 song from 1986— “There’s a sheep in mi kitchen, what am I gonna do?”… What would you do if you found nine sheep in your kitchen? Fall asleep as you counted them? Threaten them with the mint sauce jar? Tell them to get… Read more »
Back in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s, whoever it was that was running the over-ground rail network in England came out with a series of much-mocked (but valid) reasons for late and cancelled services. Autumn leaves made the wheels slip on the rails, reducing traction; and “the wrong type of snow” caused the trains’ electric motors to short-circuit. These… Read more »
A man in Nova Scotia has been banned from having his last name on his licence plate. It’s been determined that it’s now too rude. This, despite him having had the plate in the family for decades. Unfortunately, he’s just another victim of Trump’s style (or lack of it). The man in question is of German heritage; his name is… Read more »
Why do we do a headcount for the living and a body count for the dead? People’s heads and bodies don’t necessarily need to be connected for them to be dead. The same cannot be said for the living; for the most part, they tend to be intact. And ironically, until finger prints and DNA became viable ways to identify… Read more »
For a while now, the world’s been treated to people yelling “Okay Google…” or “Hey Siri…” at their smartphones and then proceeding to ask (? Tell?) said “assistant” to do something (most popular “somethings” include asking for the answers to “What’s the meaning of life, the universe and everything” and “Why are fire trucks/engines red?”) As far as I know,… Read more »
Mrs. H. and I have just made this informal arrangement wherein whichever one of us dies first, the other will have a cardboard cutout of our late spouse made. Sounds creepy, doesn’t it! But “it’s not what you think.” (How many times have you heard that defence being used?) It’s all to do with remembering things and solving problems. Back… Read more »
A Londoner of American extraction has launched an attempt to get London commuters talking to each other. If you’ve ever travelled on the London Underground, you’ll know the issue. Commuters studiously avoid making eye contact let alone conversation. Any communication (such as “that seat is reserved for disabled people”) that can be mimed is mimed. From my limited experience elsewhere… Read more »