Silly Season 2017

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There was a time when news media reported interesting and important happenings in a sober fashion. Well, for most of the year, anyway—August (give or take) was known as “Silly Season” in the UK and elsewhere. A quick thumb through the internet revealed that the reason for Silly Season is that the amount of government and business news declines in… Read more »

Of Mosquitoes, T Rexes, Turtles and Traps

Mrs. H. and I recently returned from our longest vacation in thirty-plus years. It was a road trip to the Ottawa area and back, with a ten-day houseboat trip on the Rideau Waterway system in the middle. (Let’s face it, it’d be pointless driving there and back and then doing the houseboat trip, wouldn’t it!) Eight thousand kilometres of driving… Read more »

Getting the Silent Treatment… Still

Three weeks ago I wrote about Mrs. H.’s descent into silence, a state prescribed by an ENT specialist as penance for having developed small nodules on her vocal cord. Except for a few lapses (usually when she’s awoken from her slumbers, and which utterances are invariably followed by a “s#!t” as she realizes she broke her silence), Mrs. H. has… Read more »

Empty Nesters – Again

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A few weeks ago, I wrote that we had American robins nesting in our yard, and that I’d pointed a video camera at them. So far, political correctness hasn’t reached the level of insanity where shooting video of birds without their permission gets me arrested for voyeurism or sued for taking unauthorized images of minors. I finally got around to… Read more »

Stop Getting Offended!

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My name is Kelvin, and I’m an asthmatic. And I don’t care if people call me “an asthmatic”. Last week, I wrote about the trials and tribulations of Mrs. H. having to observe a six-week period of mandatory voice rest. In that piece, I wanted to use the word “mute” as a noun to refer to the person who is… Read more »

A Milestone for Kelvin!

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“She Who Must Be Lip-Read” marks my 100th article on this blog/website. I’d like to think that there’s something here to interest, entertain, and amuse most people. If you’ve never read any of my pieces, why not do so now. You’ll see an approximate reading time at the top of each one. For those of you who like pictures… sorry… Read more »

She Who Must Be Lip-Read

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What’s the connection between unleashing a dog and starting a gas-powered lawnmower? Answer: they both look the same when Mrs. H. mimes them. Not hugely interesting, you might think, but then you’re not making the effort to empathize with a lady whose ability to speak without pausing for breath is legendary, and who is having to suffer six weeks of… Read more »

Salad’s Day

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Timeline: November 2032 The political correctness thing has reached ridiculous levels! Today I was arrested for an article I wrote about fruits and vegetables fifteen years ago, in July 2017. Apparently the fruit and vegetable rights lobby group, “FAV’RITE” (~Fruits and Vegetables Rights) had shopped me to the PC Police for historic abuse of produce, citing the article as evidence…. Read more »

Nature, Red in Tooth and Claw

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Here at the Hatchery (an appropriate name, given the topic), we’ve been watching a pair of American robins attend to their young the last couple of weeks. The eggs hatched about a week ago, and the four nestlings have been waited on wing and claw ever since. I set up a video camera at a respectable distance and left it… Read more »