I’ve posted an article on my website every week since November 1st, 2015. This is article number 174. Most of the stuff I write here is prompted or inspired by real news articles. But the brouhaha about the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” did a so-much-better job than I can of satirizing current events in general and the current climate… Read more »
“Hello. My name’s Gary, and I’m a herring addict.” The circle of gulls clapped their wings to greet Gary. “Welcome, Gary,” said the group facilitator, whose name was Glenda. “I’m sure you already know this, but admitting the problem is the first stage in managing and overcoming an addiction.” The nodding and bobbing of heads proceeded round the circle like… Read more »
“The following article contains euphemisms for, and references to, matters scatological (albeit in the best possible taste). Reader discretion is advised.” Or to put it another way, if poo isn’t your cup of tea, please move on. About a year ago, the New Zealand Herald’s website carried an article that ridiculed the way society avoids talking directly about procreation, defecation,… Read more »
Do you get a song stuck in your head and just can’t shift it? Of course you do! If you listen to music and have at least one musical bone in your body, you can’t fail to. And if you’re musically-inclined, you likely suffer more than average. The phenomenon is known as “earworm”. I should reassure those of you who… Read more »
Please indulge me. I wrote this piece on the fortieth anniversary of my mum’s death, and yes, I still miss her. It’s coincided with me trying to cull the “sentimental crap” that Mrs. H. and I have held onto over the years, and the coincidence screamed out for a column on the topic. It’s the cull that’s the focus of… Read more »
Here in North America, this weekend was “fall back” time for the clocks. Everyone does the dance of joy because there’s an opportunity for an extra hour’s sleep… and then stays up extra late because they can sleep in. But what should we do with that hour that we’re borrowing from spring? Sleep? Work? Relax? Do we even really have… Read more »
I was watching a large skein of geese flying at several thousand feet last weekend. The way the sun caught them made them look like molten silver. I tried photographing them (‘cause these days, it didn’t happen if there’s no pictures) but they were too high, and in any case, the moment was lost by the time I found them… Read more »
George Bernard Shaw is credited with the quote, “A dramatic critic is one who leaves no turn unstoned.” (For those with “WTF” knitted into their eyebrows, this is a play on the phrase, “leave no stone unturned” meaning to conduct a thorough search.) GBS was merely pointing out that drama critics considered it their duty to figuratively stone to death… Read more »
When US President Calvin Coolidge died, writer and satirist Dorothy Parker’s reaction was reported to be, “How can they tell?” Which has nothing to do with the subject of this article, other than the “how can they tell” sentiment. Mrs. H., in common with millions of women around the globe, has what seems like a couple of roomfuls of creams… Read more »
Time was when dogs were bred for usefulness. Collies run after sheep. Jack Russells chase foxes. Dachshunds flush out badgers. Beagles hunt food. Any food. But the breed was originally developed to hunt hare. Greyhounds can’t resist an electric hare. Chihuahuas are canine hot water bottles. But in the 1980s, a cross-breeding act of compassion unwittingly started a whole new… Read more »