If this was a Twitter post, I’d have called it “Shredded Tweet”, but it’s longer than 140 characters, so there’s another opportunity missed. We just had the mother of all hailstorms. Both Mrs. H and I work from home, and there’s usually someone home at all times, but this afternoon we were out shooting video for a high school grad—the… Read more »
(This is not an article for people who are offended by flatulence. If you are one of those people, please select another article to read.) Headline: Swedish Footballer Sent off for Farting on the Pitch If only the above article had been about cricket instead of soccer, the title of this piece would have written itself—“Wind in the Willows”. However,… Read more »
Headline: Spanish town’s giant dog dropping goes walkies “Holmes Detective Agencies; ‘no solution, no fee—it’s that elementary’. Shirley speaking. How may we help?” “Is this Shirley Holmes, great-granddaughter of legendary Sherlock Homes?” enquired the voice at the other end of the telephone line. Although his accent was decidedly Spanish, it didn’t come out like that in the transcription. “You know… Read more »
News Item: Seagull turns orange after falling into curry (Note: this piece was originally posted with the title “Animal Rights”. It was renamed when the Gullsville series was developed.) “Where have you been? It’s three o’clock in the morning!” squawked Mrs. Gull, looking her husband up and down. “And what’s that smell? I thought you were just going out for… Read more »
Recently, I’ve taken to reading more than one book at a time. In a two-storey house with a developed basement in which I sleep in the upper storey and work in the basement, it makes sense—I can keep one book in the basement bathroom and another in our bedroom. What I should do though, is to ensure that I’m not… Read more »
Headline: Graduates – stop throwing your hats! The following was inspired by the above news report. SLURRY ON THE MERE JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL 2021-04-01 Dear Graduand, As the date of your graduation draws near, it is time to provide some guidelines regarding the celebrations. As you no doubt know, graduation is a time for joyous and exuberant celebration, and we… Read more »
Headline: “Finland’s postal workers to mow lawns” Prologue In Finland, postal workers have started thinking outside the mailbox. In response to declining use of the postal system, Posti’s posties are taking part in a trial of a lawn-mowing service, which will be offered from May to August. (Sounds like their lawn-mowing season’s as short as it is here in southern… Read more »
Ante-prologue http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hampshire-35743727 An eighty-space rooftop car park in Farnborough, England has remained empty since 2010 because the access ramps, which were designed to be part of a second building, have yet to be built. The following piece, including the prologue, is a work of fiction that was inspired by the above real-life story. The characters are fictional; the two primary… Read more »
(This article is possibly Not Safe For Work (NSFW).) I have to admit that I’m not aware of ever having visited Scunthorpe. It’s a town in east central England that was (I believe) industrialized in the nineteenth century along with myriad other towns. Being the judgmental type that I am, I’ve never felt compelled to visit the place—just its name… Read more »
My latest play, Trail Mix and Chips, was performed four times last week, and is due to be performed in competition on April 30th (yes, I’m writing this prior to the competition). Two of the younger members of the theatre group I belong to had asked me to write a script for them, and requested a two-person romantic comedy. I… Read more »