Dear Mr. Disney, My name is Kelvin and I’m 10 years old (in my head). I’m writing to you about the choices you have made regarding what I believe are called “re-makes”. In the past 70 years, you have made two movies of Cinderella. In the past 50 years, you have made two movies of The Jungle Book. In the… Read more »
How much of a potty mouth are you? Parents: have your offspring ever heard you swear, or worse, have they learned to swear from you? Why is there even such a concept as swear words? (Don’t expect an answer to that here!) Mother Do You Think He’ll Drop the F-Bomb? This past weekend (March 25th), I was involved in a… Read more »
A man in Nova Scotia has been banned from having his last name on his licence plate. It’s been determined that it’s now too rude. This, despite him having had the plate in the family for decades. Unfortunately, he’s just another victim of Trump’s style (or lack of it). The man in question is of German heritage; his name is… Read more »
It seems like I spend a lot of time loitering beneath a red light. I don’t mean the kind that serves as a sign that carnal pleasures are to be had in exchange for coin of the realm. If I did, I’d spend even more time beneath red lights than I currently do, while making less money than I do… Read more »
The headline looked like clickbait. “i.Con Smart Condom to monitor performance in bedrooms”. But the article really was about a Bluetooth-enabled condom—or to be more accurate, a “condom ring”. Before continuing, let me dispel any thoughts in your mind that I enjoy reading articles like that. I do so merely as part of my ongoing search for interesting topics. I… Read more »
How well do you know the ceilings of the various rooms in your house? Are they stippled; smooth; papered-and-painted; peeling; “popcorn”ed; patterned using a comb? Several groups of people likely have a head start in the ceiling familiarity game. Here are a few that spring to mind. Insomniacs spend a lot of time staring upward, although for a large percentage… Read more »
Why do we do a headcount for the living and a body count for the dead? People’s heads and bodies don’t necessarily need to be connected for them to be dead. The same cannot be said for the living; for the most part, they tend to be intact. And ironically, until finger prints and DNA became viable ways to identify… Read more »
There will be no winners in World War III. We’ll all get participation medals, and whatever it was (hairstyles? Is it the Hokey Cokey or the Hokey Pokey? Which end of an egg is the top?) that started the war will remain unresolved so that we can fight World War IV (a name that has a nice rhythm to it)… Read more »
The banning of an annual pillow fight at the famous West Point military academy in the USA a couple of years ago, and the banning of a baked beans advert in the UK for health and safety reasons last November, caught my attention again when I was browsing the digital equivalent of my newspaper cuttings file today. The obvious comment… Read more »
There’s too much brightly coloured spandex in the world. There’s a gym in town that Mrs. H occasionally goes to to burn off a few hundred calories. I won’t name the gym because its owners aren’t paying me for the advertising, and in any case, in today’s super-sensitive world, someone might take what’s supposed to be an entertaining, semi-fictional article… Read more »