I recently spotted a “funny” doing the rounds (unfortunately without attribution, so I can’t give credit…) Here it is. (Food falls on the floor) Germs Suppertime! Let’s go guys! King Germ No! We must wait five seconds. It is the rule. But what happened next? This can now be revealed. Germ 1 Rule? Or guideline? King Rule. Germ 2 With… Read more »
The Kilntown and District Soup Can Collectors Society is planning its first annual expo. But like most organizations these days, its members have schedules that look like the spandex at a Weightwatchers meeting—overstuffed. So in an attempt to minimize or eliminate planning meetings, the secretary suggested they use one of the many online collaboration tools available. In case you don’t… Read more »
I recently took a tour round the historic area of a university town. A guide provided commentary as he punted us from building to building. One that he pointed out was covered in climbing ivy, but he informed us that it was ivory that adorned the walls. You may think this a slip of the tongue until I tell you… Read more »
News report: Camels banned from Saudi beauty contest over Botox The scene: an oasis in the desert, somewhere in the Middle East. At its edge, a group of lady dromedaries (camels with one hump) are grazing the scant vegetation. As they do so, a pair of Bactrian camels (two-humped camels)—tourists from Afghanistan—arrive at the oasis, stride over to the water’s… Read more »
News item: ‘Emotional support peacock’ barred from United Airlines plane Apparently, airlines around the world are beginning to suspect that people are abusing the airlines’ willingness to allow therapy animals to accompany anxious passengers. Peacocks and pigs are only two examples of therapy animals that might prompt a person to question the authenticity of passengers’ anxiety. The following is an… Read more »
News headline: More people in the USA are killed by lawnmowers than by terrorists. The following are excerpts from a transcript of a speech (to be) given by future USA President Derek Benditt on New Year’s Day 2049, the eight thousandth day of his presidency. Benditt was (or more correctly, will be) a product of the Social Media age, where… Read more »
(For anyone old enough and British enough to remember, the 1960s radio show “I’m Sorry, I’ll Read That Again” (ISIRTA) had an interesting way of scene-setting for a sketch. I’ve tried to emulate that in some small way.)
Headline: Schoolboys wear skirts in uniform protest The Scene: A meeting of the Board of Governors of the “Our Lady of Grantham” Academy, somewhere in the heartland of middle- to middle-upper-middle-class England. Seated around the table (which, it is rumoured, was once graced with the elbows of the Iron Lady herself) are: Elizabeth Swollocks, the school’s head teacher; Cyril Arbuthnot,… Read more »
(This piece will be make most sense if you know about the following two news stories, and take the time to read my January 2017 piece, “Returning a Long-overdue Library Book”) News item: Eight-year old boy learns to drive on YouTube for McDonald’s joyride News item: Boy aged 12 drives himself 1,300km across Australia After reading these two news articles,… Read more »
“Overdue library book returned to school 120 years late” ran the headline on the BBC’s Hereford and Worcester news website in December 2016. The granddaughter of a pupil of the Hereford Cathedral School found the book in her collection and realized that it should have been returned sometime between 1886 and 1894. Late return fines (currently £0.17 per day) would… Read more »