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I wonder what Messrs. Townshend and Daltrey think of their immortal line “Hope I die before I get old” 53 (or so) years after they wrote it?

My guess is that they’ve redefined “old”—that’s what most of us do.

“Old Age Pension? What a ridiculous name for it!” you might say as you receive your first payout from the government.

But remember how old your grandparents seemed when they were in their sixties? (Assuming they made it that far.)

“I might be the same age as they were, but I’m not as old as they were!” you retort.

And you might be right.

Age isn’t just how far back in the past your birth certificate was filled in. It’s also physical and mental health, and above all, attitude.

The American biologist James D. Watson said, “The only way to stay young is to avoid old people”.

This is the James D. Watson who co-invented DNA in 1953, so he must be smart.

What does this tell us? Well, corollary-wise, it tells us that bunching old people together in a home is only going to make them older, so why do we do it? Because we want to die quicker? So we don’t infect the young with oldness?

Newsflash—they were infected at birth, but the pathogen stays dormant for a while.

And never, ever forget that oldness sure as heck beats the alternative. So, unless you want to take your dirt nap sooner rather than later, heed James Watson’s advice and stay away from seniors communities. Hang out with your kids and their friends. Better still, hang out with your grandkids and their friends. Or best of all—hang out in a human egg storage facility.

But assuming such facilities don’t encourage sexagenarian, septuagenarian, octogenarian, nonagenarian and older volunteers, we must look for other ways to preserve our youth.

One popular option is yoga. Thing is, there’s so many flavours. Power yoga, hot yoga, acro yoga, nude yoga (really!), hatha yoga, kundalini yoga… and many more. You need help choosing a variety that would suit you (or in the case of nude yoga, un-suit you.) Fortunately, The Huffington Post reproduced a “flowchart” from yogatrail.com to help you.

What else is there? There’s surgical/medical intervention of course. We have access to hair implants, nip-tuck procedures, laser surgeries for our eyes, invisible hearing aids, dental implants, replacement hips and knees; Viagra, Botox, liposuction… And all these things help us maintain our delusion that we’re not old farts.

Do you remember Elton John when he was nearly bald? Now he’s got a head of hair that the sasquatch would be proud of.

Getting Real

But no matter how many procedures we inflict on ourselves, we can’t erase the past from our memories (unless it’s the memory of what we had for supper last night). So, we compare the world today with the one we grew up in. That’s when reality kicks in and bites us.

And whereas our world used to be full of old people, it now seems to be full of youngsters. Do you remember when doctors, policemen, school principals all seemed old? No amount of silicon or titanium can change the fact that it’s getting to the stage where Supreme Court Judges and members of the House of Lords or Senate don’t look ancient anymore.

A line from Fred Wedlock’s “The Oldest Swinger in Town” goes, “A man is just as old as the woman he feels”. In #metoo times, I guess that song might not get many plays on the radio these days, but if you look up the lyrics to the whole song, you’ll find some disturbingly close-to-home truths.

The yoga flowchart I mentioned has a path that takes you to a suggestion to take up “senior yoga”. The path contains just two questions.

“Do you feel like moving your body?” ==> No… ==> “Are you old? ==> Yes… ==> Senior Yoga.

That’s what happens when you admit to being old. No hot yoga. And definitely no nude yoga (there’s eight questions to get through before you get that particular recommendation!)

My advice;  watch “My Generation” performed by a group of people with a combined age of over 3,000—the lead singer was apparently 90 years old. And it was recorded at Abbey Road.

Enjoy… and feel young again!

What thoughts do you have about getting old? Or staying young? PLEASE share!