(~5 minutes to read)
I thought the US$2100 version of IKEA’s blue bag was a reasonably isolated incident of the fashion industry ripping off—sorry, catering to fashion-following sheeple.
And then I read this article about a $1500 Chanel boomerang.
In the name of all that’s good, honest and reasonable, why would anyone want a $1500 boomerang? And why would someone come up with the notion that people might want one? Did they do the market research and discover an unsatisfied demand—thousands of fashionistas just champing at the bit to see if fifteen hundred dollars-worth of wood and resin boomerang will come back to them? (Hint: first you gotta throw it.)
Australian aboriginals are screaming “cultural appropriation”, and rightly so, I guess, although, like some other forms of political correctness, I don’t know how or where society should draw lines between correctness and appropriation. Is it limited to the hijacking of various aboriginal/indigenous artifacts for commercial gain, or is the use of one mainstream culture’s cultural symbols by another mainstream culture the same thing?
For example, is the Balenciaga version of IKEA’s bag “cultural appropriation” of Swedish culture, or is IKEA not sufficiently specific to Sweden?
Is the plethora of “Fish ‘n’ Chip” shops in North America cultural appropriation of English culture? (After all, North Americans call chips “fries” in all other contexts). And what about all the red phone boxes, red double-decker buses and fake British Bobbies that abound throughout the world?
Is the plethora of curry houses in the UK okay because people of (East) Indian heritage are running them?
Anybody want to express an opinion about walking like an Egyptian?
Okay—those examples are perhaps a little facetious. But where is the line?
Wherever it is, it seems that Chanel may have crossed it with this latest offering, but fashion really is a fickle business.
Who knows; perhaps some fashionistas really do feel the need to have a boomerang with them for those times when they need to stop someone stealing their blue Balenciaga/IKEA bags in that noisy night club. I just hope they remember to take their boomerangs onto the dance floor with them.
Duct Tap Fashion
Wow—fashion seems to be the topic that just keeps giving to me this week! But where to start on my latest find?
According to this article, a designer from Miami has launched what he calls an “exclusive fashion experiment” called the Black Tape Project.
It seems that one can strut one’s stuff in this latest fashion trend for the price of a roll of black duct tape.
Yes folks—girls (there’s no obvious evidence of guys copying this trend) are going to clubs and bars “dressed” in strategically placed—and very tastefully patterned—strips of sticky black tape.
The project has attracted more than 200,000 followers to its Instagram account (no surprise there), and has several hashtags including #theblacktapeproject and #blacktapeproject.
So many questions are buzzing around in my head right now. Let’s see if I can do a brain dump.
What inspired the designer to come up with the idea—the duct tape wallet he made as a grade three student?
What kind of duct tape are people using? There are some brands of duct tape out there (Gorilla is one) that stick like s**t to a blanket. These ladies have voluntarily placed this tape on their most sensitive, tender parts. If they thought a bikini wax was painful, just wait till they get “undressed”.
Which prompts the question, “does duct tape stick more persistently to warm skin, or does perspiration make its adhesive properties fade?” If the former, then I hope they’re fully medicated on their painkiller du jour when they “undress”. If the latter, then I can’t help thinking there will be frequent visits to the restrooms to re-apply sagging strips of tape.
How do they cut the tape and apply it so precisely?
Do they “dress” themselves or is that done by another person? I can’t help thinking it’s the latter—there’d need to be a degree of contortion going on in self-application, and that might make design and placement symmetry a little difficult.
How do the “dressers” maintain such a steady hand in the face of such a large acreage of bare flesh?
What’s the protocol if you arrive at a club only to discover that someone’s wearing exactly the same duct tape as you?
Where they heck do they keep their phones?
How do they cope with over-cranked air conditioning?
Would this fashion be practical in Winnipeg or Whitehorse in January? (or any other month of the year, come to think of it; it’s either too cold or the mosquitoes are out in force.)
Which prompts the question, “what effect does DEET have on duct tape adhesion?”
What’s the procedure should they wish to “entertain” a new friend that they’ve met at one of these clubs? Does the friend assist in the disrobing, do they share a really hot shower (or hot tub) or should the friend offer to go to the hardware store to pick up a bottle of solvent?
If they use camo tape instead of black tape, would they be less obtrusive in a club?
Where the heck do they keep their boomerangs?
The Reason for the Large Blue Bag
Now I realize why there’ s a need for such a large handbag. The average fashion purse just doesn’t have room in it for a couple of rolls of tape, scissors, utility knife, razor blade, compasses, French curves, and adhesive solvent, as well as the usual lipstick and other paraphernalia that girls haul around.
That Miami designer would be poised to make a killing if he offered classes in duct tape application. Judging from the Instagram interest, he would be overwhelmed by the number of people wanting to sign up.
Meanwhile, people are likely dumping their Chanel stock and investing in Gorilla Tape shares.
I wonder when the Heating and Ventilation fraternity are going to start protesting about the cultural appropriation of their duct tape?