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News item: Goat rescued after getting stuck on power lines
The above article describes how a goat, which had somehow ended up hanging by its curly horns on a power line, was rescued. There is (or was) a Youtube video showing the rescue. This one was working as at 2016-07-23.
The following news report is a work of fiction based on the above.
[Anchor] Goat farmers in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains have developed a novel and effective way to protect their livestock from predators at night. They are hanging them by the horns from a zip line. Our reporter, Penny Zmeyetyer, has the story.
[Penny] Here in rural Twyfordville, goat farmers have been struggling for years with a two-pronged problem: the decline in demand for goat products and the loss of livestock to coyotes. But Eric Gotthard has come up with something that addresses both the income and loss issues. He and two other local goat farmers have clubbed together to build a five hundred metre zip line above the grassy meadows and woodland on their common grazing land. During the day, tourists and fun seekers pay to ride the zip line, and at night, the goats are hung on the line out of the reach of all but the most wily of coyotes.
[Eric] The idea came to me when I saw a Youtube video of a goat hanging on a power line by its horns. Although it looked a little strange, it was obvious from the rescue that the goat had suffered no ill effects. We lose a goat or two every week to predators, so anything we can do to cut that down would be great for our bottom line.
[Penny] What made you think of the zip line?
[Eric] The idea of hanging a hundred and fifty goats on a high voltage power line every night and taking them down again every morning didn’t appeal to my desire to live a long life, so I set to thinking about what might be a good substitute. Then one night, I was watching a documentary on TV about zip lines over the jungle canopy in South America, and thought, ‘I bet tourists would love to ride a zip line over our pastures.’ There’s lots of neat wildife in there.
[Penny] And how popular has the zip line proved to be?
[Eric] It’s picking up. We get about a hundred people a day show up for a ride, and the feedback is good. We’re still recouping the cost of the zip line, but it’ll have paid for itself by this time next year.
[Penny] Have you lost any goats since you started hanging them up for the night?
[Eric] Only one, early on. He had allergies though, and sneezed himself off the zip line. Coyotes got him while he was still bouncing; saw the whole thing from my deck.
[Penny] Have there been any other benefits?
[Eric] You bet! With a hundred people a day coming through here, plus the people who come but don’t ride the zip line, we’re able to sell goat products directly rather than paying the middle men their cut. Milk, cheese, skins… even the hoofs are popular with folk who think they have aphrodisiac qualities.
[Penny] Sounds like a winning formula all round.
[Eric] And there’s more. We’ve now built a viewing platform east of the zip line, and charge people to take pictures at sunset of the hanging goats. Makes a great picture, I can tell ya!
[Penny] Have you noticed any changes in the goats’ demeanour?
[Eric] Well, they’re obviously no longer worried about being pounced on at night, and relaxed goats make sweeter milk and more tender meat. They’re a bit antsy in the mornings and do a fair bit of running and jumping for the first few minutes after we put them back on the ground.
The other thing we’re noticing is that their necks are getting a little longer and stronger. They’re beginning to look a little more like alpacas, although having hair instead of wool means they don’t look so cute.
[Penny] Animal welfare inspectors have inspected and approved the operation, and Gotthard has patented the idea. The goats seem not to mind just hanging out all night, and the coyotes appear to have learned that there’s no easy meals here anymore.
If you’re passing by Twyfordville, the Goathanger Zip Line is a great place to stop for a bite to eat and a panoramic view of the meadows and the mountains beyond. And the sunset views of the hanging goats are indeed spectacular.
Penny Zmeyetyer, News Now, Twyfordville.