{"id":899,"date":"2017-12-25T00:01:26","date_gmt":"2017-12-25T07:01:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/?p=899"},"modified":"2017-12-22T22:18:15","modified_gmt":"2017-12-23T05:18:15","slug":"stella-guy-have-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/2017\/12\/25\/stella-guy-have-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Stella & Guy Have Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"

(The story <\/a>so far\u2026<\/p>\n

Stella is a contestant in a \u201cMiss Sea Star Canada\u201d pageant, and during a pre-competition visit to the ladies\u2019 room, the suckers on her very realistic starfish costume got her stuck to the wall. Guy, a security officer and her knight in shining armour, rescued her by releasing her limb by limb from her costume. By way of thanks, she has agreed to buy dinner for Guy at a seafood restaurant.<\/p>\n

We pick up the story as they meet up after the pageant.)<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cHi Guy,\u201d shouted Stella across the heads of the crowd outside the Artists\u2019 door.<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry\u2014I didn\u2019t recognize you with your clothes on,\u201d shouted Guy. He noticed all the turned heads, smirks and eye-rolls, and hastily continued, \u201cI mean, I didn\u2019t recognize you with your costume off and your street clothes on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d said Stella. \u201cI know what you meant. EVEN IF EVERYONE ELSE\u2019S MINDS WERE IN THE GUTTER!\u201d<\/p>\n

The turned heads returned, and the eyes unrolled. Guy made his way through the throng to Stella.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy car\u2019s just \u2018round the corner,\u201d he said. He pulled his radio out of his utility belt and held it to his mouth as he pushed through the crowd, Stella in tow. The crowds melted before them, and they quickly reached Guy\u2019s car.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m starving\u2014I could eat a horse!\u201d said Stella.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019ll have to be a seahorse,\u201d chuckled Guy. \u201cIt\u2019s a seafood restaurant we\u2019re going to, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs seahorse on the menu?\u201d asked Stella, going with the flow.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding? I might not know much starfish, but seahorses I do know. I kept them as pets. I used to race them, but they couldn\u2019t get the hang of jumping the fences. Then I found out they\u2019re threatened as a species, so I gave up keeping them. Apparently, the Chinese use them in medicines, mostly for treating impotence\u2026 sorry\u2014that was inappropriate for our first date\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo worries,\u201d said Stella. \u201cI was going to make a tacky joke about the medicines having to be made from sea-stallions.\u201d<\/p>\n

They both laughed. Stella thought she\u2019d let the \u201cfirst date\u201d remark go for now.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do you do in your spare time, now you don\u2019t keep seahorses?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI build photographs using Photoshop and green screens,\u201d said Guy. \u201cI try to combine images that have a connection\u2014for example, a giraffe riding on an open-top, double-decker bus. The bus and the giraffe both seem to defy gravity\u2014they should tip over or something, yet they don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cO-k-a-y-y\u2026\u201d said Stella. \u201cGive me another example\u2014I\u2019m not getting it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about a beaver driving a Zamboni through a Tim Hortons\u2019 drive-through? Beavers don\u2019t drive, and Zambonis don\u2019t normally leave their arena, yet\u2026 Here, let me show you,\u201d he said, getting out his phone. [Note to readers: do not attempt to show photos on your phone while driving. It\u2019s against the law in many jurisdictions.]<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, that\u2019s cool!\u201d said Stella. \u201cI like the way you made the beaver big enough to reach the controls. How did you get it to pose in front of the green screen?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEasy. I cast a spell over it with my magic harmonica.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re kidding, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope. I play a special tune, and any living creature in earshot becomes susceptible to my suggestions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike the Pied Piper of Hamelin, you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess. Except \u2018The Multi-hued Harmonicist of High River\u2019 doesn\u2019t have quite the same ring.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stella thought quickly. Was she in a car with a crazy guy? A crazy guy from High River? What if he really had such a power? There\u2019d be no telling what he could do. Would he use it to take advantage of her? How would she know? She knew about the dangers of Rohypnol, but harmonicas? How can a girl keep herself safe these days? What kind of photograph might she end up in?<\/p>\n

They pulled into the parking lot of the Hexagonal Octopus<\/em> seafood restaurant and parked in the furthest corner.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is it,\u201d thought Stella. She girded her loins, thinking they might be in danger.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you dare get your organ out I mean your mouth organ your harmonica\u2026 Let me out of this car!\u201d<\/p>\n

Guy started laughing.<\/p>\n

It was a warm, reassuring laugh, not the mad, maniacal laugh that you might have imagined.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you believe me about the magic harmonica?\u201d asked Guy. \u201cI\u2019m sorry if I scared you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen why did you park over here?\u201d asked Stella, not at all convinced.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy licence plate sticker is expired, and I don\u2019t want to attract attention. Look, I\u2019ll get out of the car and leave the keys in the ignition. If you feel unsafe, just move over to the driver\u2019s seat and drive away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stella thought about it. She could trust him and carry on with the dinner date, or chicken out and drive herself back to her hotel in his late-model Mercedes. (Don\u2019t you hate it when writers drop new information in like that?)<\/p>\n

She chose trust.<\/p>\n

In the restaurant, they chatted some more about Guy\u2019s photographs, and Stella told Guy about her penchant for wearing sea creature costumes. She\u2019d started out as a mermaid, but had quickly become disillusioned by the number of mermen wanting to check out her tail. She\u2019d flirted briefly with trout costumes, but discovered that \u201ctrout\u201d was a euphemism for an annoying old woman and looked for something else. She\u2019d sampled life on the dolphin pageant circuit, and dabbled with the flatfish crowd, but floundered in their company.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I thought I\u2019d try starfish pageants,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you do for a living\u2014a real job, I mean?\u201d asked Guy.<\/p>\n

\u201cI work in an underwater aquarium on the BC coast,\u201d replied Stella. \u201cWe\u2019ve got seals and big fish and a couple of leopard sharks in the collection. I do all the maintenance in the tanks; clean the glass, vacuum up all the fish droppings, and prune the aquarium plants. I used to do it in my mermaid costume to amuse the visitors, but some kids got worried about \u2018The Little Mermaid\u2019 swimming with sharks, so I just wear a regular wetsuit now.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about you? Is security your career?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and no. This security gig is how I\u2019m paying my way through college, learning to be a cyber-security specialist. I finish next month, and then I start a job on Vancouver Island.\u201d
\nHe paused a moment.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps we could meet up when I get there, and you can show me around.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe,\u201d said Stella. \u201cSo if you\u2019re a student working security gigs, how come you drive a Mercedes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cParents gave me money to get through college. I blew it all on the car, so now I have to work<\/em> my way through. They could afford to give me more, but they want to \u2018teach me the value of money\u2019. So far, it\u2019s working.\u201d<\/p>\n

The small-talk and getting-to-know-each-other continued throughout the meal and while they waited for the bill.<\/p>\n

Guy fidgeted with his wine glass. \u201cSo\u2026 what about that guided tour of the BC coast and the island?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding?\u201d said Stella. \u201cThis is a \u2018thank you\u2019 dinner, not the beginning of a lifelong relationship!\u201d<\/p>\n

Guy frowned. He felt in his pocket. He smiled wistfully at Stella, pulled out his harmonica and began to play.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(The story so far\u2026 Stella is a contestant in a \u201cMiss Sea Star Canada\u201d pageant, and during a pre-competition visit to the ladies\u2019 room, the suckers on her very realistic starfish costume got her stuck to the wall. Guy, a security officer and her knight in shining armour, rescued her by releasing her limb by limb from her costume. By… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181,487],"tags":[499,495,497,496],"class_list":["post-899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake","category-stories","tag-dolphin-pageant","tag-miss-mermaid","tag-sea-creature-costume","tag-sea-star"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}