{"id":878,"date":"2017-11-27T00:01:19","date_gmt":"2017-11-27T07:01:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/?p=878"},"modified":"2020-03-04T15:49:37","modified_gmt":"2020-03-04T22:49:37","slug":"reddy-mc-redface","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/2017\/11\/27\/reddy-mc-redface\/","title":{"rendered":"Reddy Mc Redface"},"content":{"rendered":"

The \u201cXXXy McXXXFace\u201d meme\/fad seems to have gained a life of its own and spread to places one would never have expected it to. For many, the most famous example is \u201cBoaty McBoatFace\u201d, a suggestion made for the name of a polar research vessel in the UK. But dig a little deeper, and you\u2019ll find references to, for example, \u201cHooty McOwlface\u201d, an owl that was sponsored through an adopt-a-bird program in 2012.<\/em><\/p>\n

More recent examples include \u201cTrainy McTrainface\u201d on the side of a train in south-west England, a statue of a horse in Sydney, Australia named \u201cHorsey McHorseface\u201d, and a ferry (also in Sydney, Australia) called \u201cFerry McFerryface\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n

Inspired by the popularity of such names and several (seemingly unrelated?) claims of Russian interference in the voting processes of western countries, I imagined the following meeting of a town\u2019s planning department.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sharri Blake called the meeting to order.<\/p>\n

\u201cNext on the agenda is the naming of the new clock in the town square,\u201d she said. \u201cDerek, what have you got for us?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks, Sharri,\u201d said Derek. \u201cAs you know, Council had directed that in keeping with recent trends, prominent public landmarks should be named, and that where possible, residents should be consulted.<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of the suggestions we received are listed in your meeting packages. The rest were dropped for reasons of propriety, so you won\u2019t see \u201cThe Worlds Biggest Clock\u201d\u2014because it isn\u2019t; \u201cHandy McDandy\u201d\u2014because the final design was a digital clock and doesn\u2019t have hands; \u201cLittle Ben\u201d\u2014because Big Ben is a bell not a clock; or \u201cMy Face Is Prettier than Karen\u2019s\u201d\u2014which is, we assume, a somewhat unflattering reference to our Mayor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sharri looked round the table at the faces of her team, and smiled as she imagined clock hands attached to their noses. Her team thought she was being friendly and sunny.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s take a moment to peruse the list, and maybe shout out a few of your faves,\u201d she said. \u201cDave can write them down, and we\u2019ll use his notes to create a shortlist for Council.\u201d<\/p>\n

A short period of silence ensued while people polished their glasses, one person swapped her contact lenses eye-for-eye, and Dave searched for something to write on.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about \u2018Clocky McClockface\u2019?\u201d asked Sammy, a person of indeterminate age, gender and ethnicity at the far end of the table.<\/p>\n

Dave noted the suggestion, eager to not have a blank sheet of paper in front of him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry; who are you?\u201d asked Sharri. \u201cI realize I should know everyone on my team, but I don\u2019t know you. And you look so generic that you could be any one of us, but\u2026 really\u2026 who are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

The rest of the table stared. Sammy turned red.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy apologies, ladies, gentlemen, and others,\u201d said Sammy. \u201cI\u2019m actually a stranger who walked in off the street and managed to get into this meeting unchallenged. Security\u2019s a bit lax, if you ask me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t ask you,\u201d replied Sharri. \u201cNor did we invite you. Please leave now, or I shall call Security, and you\u2019ll see just how lax Luigi is.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, what gender, age and ethic origin are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

But Sammy had already left, the corks that hung from her hat swinging to the rhythm of her arthritic gait.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it was a middle aged, male New Zealander,\u201d offered Dave.<\/p>\n

The door opened again. \u201cI\u2019m a bloody Aussie, you whingeing pommy bastard!\u201d said Sammy, and slammed the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m South African,\u201d protested Dave.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s return to the clock naming, shall we?\u201d suggested Sharri.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Town Square Clock\u2019 seems like a good choice,\u201d said Derek. \u201cUnpretentious, simple, and everyone will know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Council might attract a little criticism if they\u2019re seen to have spent taxpayers\u2019 money on a survey to come up with a name for the town square clock, and the result is \u201cTown Square Clock.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut the initial caps make it a proper noun,\u201d protested Derek.<\/p>\n

\u201cI like \u2018Square Time Device\u2019,\u201d said Emily, a mouse of a girl sitting opposite Dave.<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm. \u2018STD\u2019. I think someone\u2019s having fun with us,\u201d said Sharri.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about \u2018Square Time Instrument\u2019 then\u2026\u201d returned Emily.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you kidding? \u2018STI\u2019? Someone\u2019s definitely having fun,\u201d said Sharri. \u201cAnyone else?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2019Tick Tock Click Clock\u2019 has a nice rhythm to it,\u201d opined Enid, the team\u2019s karaoke champion. \u201cI could sing<\/em> a name like that!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCan you imagine the Mayor announcing the official dedication of \u2018Tick Tock Click Clock the new town clock\u2019?\u201d asked Sharri. \u201cI didn\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dave\u2019s notes so far contained just one name\u2014Sammy\u2019s choice. He decided to try and double the list.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about \u2018iTime\u2019? It\u2019s not on the list\u2014it\u2019s one I just thought of. Everyone\u2019s using i-this and i-that for names these days\u2014they like to make a connection with Apple\u2019s devices.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm\u2026\u201d said Sharri. \u201cPut it on the list. Any others?\u201d asked Sharri.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I do like \u2018Clocky McClockface\u2019, said Derek. \u201cIt was suggested over thirty thousand times on our online survey, and it does tie in nicely with all the other \u2018Mc\u2019s\u2019 that have sprung up over the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThirty thousand, you say?\u201d said Sharri. \u201cIn a town of twenty-two thousand? Is there any sign of the Russians having had a hand in inflating that number?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNyet\u2026 I mean, no,\u201d stuttered Derek.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not Russian, are you Derek?\u201d asked Sharri. Derek shook his head vigorously.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, good,\u201d she said. \u201cNow\u2014are there any other faves from the list? Any other suggestions?\u201d<\/p>\n

Derek looked around the table. \u201cHow about \u2018Reddy McRedface\u2019?\u201d he suggested.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more Russian references, or it\u2019s off to the salt mines for you! Anything else?\u201d<\/p>\n

The ticking of the clock on the wall got louder as the awkward silence got longer.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d she said. \u201cWhat do we have on the list, Dave?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have \u2018Clocky McClockface\u2019 and \u2018iTime\u2019,\u201d said Dave.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe should flag one of them as our recommendation to Council,\u201d said Sharri. \u201cThose in favour of \u2018Clocky McClockface\u2019?\u201d Hands were raised. \u201cAnd those for \u2018iTime’?\u201d Dave raised his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, so we note on the shortlist that \u2018Clocky McClockface\u2019 is our recommendation. On to the next item on the ag\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u0417\u0430\u043c\u0435\u0447\u0430\u0442\u0435\u043b\u044c\u043d\u043e! \u0421\u043f\u0430\u0441\u0438\u0431\u043e! exclaimed Sammy from the now-open door. \u201cWonderful! Thank you!\u201d she said, and closed the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s not a real Aussie,\u201d said Enid.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The \u201cXXXy McXXXFace\u201d meme\/fad seems to have gained a life of its own and spread to places one would never have expected it to. For many, the most famous example is \u201cBoaty McBoatFace\u201d, a suggestion made for the name of a polar research vessel in the UK. But dig a little deeper, and you\u2019ll find references to, for example, \u201cHooty… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[157,485,484,483,482],"class_list":["post-878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake","tag-boaty-mcboatface","tag-election-tampering","tag-ferry-mcferryface","tag-horsey-mchorseface","tag-trainy-mctrainface"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=878"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/878\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1623,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/878\/revisions\/1623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}