Dire warnings may make good headlines\/clickbait, but I’m fed up with the world being controlled by fear\u2014fear of weather conditions, fear of bad people, fear of out-of-date or under-cooked food: fear of sasquatch wandering down main street, aliens stealing our patio sets, or ghosts coming up the toilet and haunting our nether regions.<\/p>\n
There are real things to worry about. But I’m not going to list them\u2014if you don’t know what they are, then please continue being afraid of the phantom fart catcher of the ghostly gurgler.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, please indulge me while I address the (irrational?) fears listed above.<\/p>\n
Here in the Calgary region, we\u2019ve just been released from the grip (I think that\u2019s the journalistic clich\u00e9 du jour) of a cold snap; warnings about covering up as much skin as possible and so on abounded. One example:<\/p>\n
Headline<\/strong>: \u201cCalgary cold snap prompts safety warning.\u201d<\/p>\n Quote<\/strong>: \u201c[S]kin and the tissue underneath can freeze within a number of minutes, and it can do some nerve damage and some tissue damage.\u201d<\/p>\n All true. But melodramatic? I\u2019ll repeat that quote, with some helpful bolding.<\/p>\n \u201cThat skin and the tissue underneath can<\/em> <\/strong>freeze within a number<\/strong><\/em> of minutes, and it can<\/strong> <\/em>do some nerve damage and some tissue damage.\u201d<\/p>\n The statement is true. But the weasel words are what make it fodder for a \u201cnews\u201d story. (If you\u2019d like me to explain why the highlighted words are weasel words, drop me a line.)<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have any issue with the person whose words were quoted in the article. I do have a problem with the general journalistic habit of\u2014nay, addiction to\u2014sensationalizing every single story, or even creating stories that aren\u2019t really news.<\/p>\n The risks of hypothermia and frostbite are well-known\u2014aren\u2019t they? It\u2019s common sense, after all. Water freezes at 0\u00b0C. Our bodies are made up of a high percentage of water. Exposed skin and flesh will seek to reach some kind of equilibrium with the air temperature (ye cannae beat the laws o\u2019 physics, Cap\u2019n), so common sense should tell us that the further below zero the temperature goes, the more likely it is that the water in that exposed skin is going to turn into slush, or worse, the necessary to chill an entire vat of finest single malt.<\/p>\n Problem is\u2014common sense is poorly named.<\/p>\n Time was when stores and other food outlets could sell any and all of their stock, irrespective of how long it had been on the shelf and what condition the food was in. And yes, there were problems.<\/p>\n Solution<\/strong>: legislate. \u201cBest before\u201d dates became mandatory.<\/p>\n Outcome<\/strong>: multiple.<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Unsafe food sales continue, judging from the number of food recalls and stories about mouldy this and that being purchased.<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Many people throw \u201cpast their best before date\u201d food out.<\/p>\n It\u2019s like people think the food has a timed self-destruct capsule in it. Common sense goes on strike again.<\/p>\n Check out www.stilltasty.com<\/a> to see how safe food is after the \u201cbest before\u201d dates. And remember that because of our litigious society, even stilltasty has to err on the safe side.<\/p>\n Some people donate out-of-date food to the food bank, and think it\u2019s a valid and community-minded way to spring-clean their pantries. The food bank that I occasionally volunteer at has to abide by those \u201cbest before\u201d dates, and I\u2019m sure most others have to as well. While they don\u2019t necessarily throw it out, they can\u2019t give it out as part of a client\u2019s care package.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not a foregone conclusion that out-of-date food will kill you. To quote Blue Oyster Cult, don\u2019t fear the reaper; and don\u2019t fear out-of-date food. Maintain a healthy respect, but fear\u2026<\/p>\n BTW: How did Blue Oyster Cult get their name? According to their manager (as reported in a number of places online), it\u2019s an anagram of \u201cCully Stout Beer\u201d, presumably his beverage of choice. How true this is I don\u2019t know. And frankly I don\u2019t care.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The bottom line is that adults are responsible for their own wellbeing, and can take or avoid risks. We don\u2019t need our risk-taking decisions tainted by fear.<\/p>\n Sorry\u2014I can\u2019t allay your fears here.<\/p>\n If you have a sasquatch-friendly main\/high street in your home town, then it\u2019s theoretically possible that it will attract sasquatch. Pedestrianized streets may well be the most at-risk areas.<\/p>\n Especially when there\u2019s snow on the ground.<\/p>\n Especially at night.<\/p>\n Especially when there\u2019s menacing music playing in the background.<\/p>\n Aliens (and here, we\u2019re talking about extra-terrestrial aliens, not the undesirable human kind that people feared in less politically-correct times\u2026 oh, wait\u2026) aren\u2019t known for their penchant for outdoor loungers and glass-topped wrought iron tables, but in an infinite universe, I guess there could be a spaceship out there somewhere just waiting to point its tractor beam at your patio. If in doubt, plaster pictures of Trump over the furniture\u2014that should deter them.<\/p>\n And as for poltergeists in the porcelain throne: if one should appear, do what I would do\u2014fight back with everything at your disposal\u2014after all, the weapons are already aimed in the right direction!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dire warnings may make good headlines\/clickbait, but I’m fed up with the world being controlled by fear\u2014fear of weather conditions, fear of bad people, fear of out-of-date or under-cooked food: fear of sasquatch wandering down main street, aliens stealing our patio sets, or ghosts coming up the toilet and haunting our nether regions. There are real things to worry about…. Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[77],"tags":[254,253,255],"class_list":["post-481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rant","tag-clickbait","tag-fear","tag-sasquatch"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=481"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Out-of-Date Food\u2014Be Afraid!<\/h1>\n
Sasquatch, Aliens, Ghosts\u2014Be Afraid?<\/h1>\n