{"id":443,"date":"2016-10-24T00:01:51","date_gmt":"2016-10-24T06:01:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/?p=443"},"modified":"2020-03-04T14:13:00","modified_gmt":"2020-03-04T21:13:00","slug":"okotoks-is-ok-right-now-maybe-nsfw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/2016\/10\/24\/okotoks-is-ok-right-now-maybe-nsfw\/","title":{"rendered":"Okotoks is Ok Right Now (Maybe NSFW?)"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago, you may have read<\/a> that the day we\u2019re all barcoded (or QR coded) would be the day it wouldn\u2019t matter what you call your offspring. (The context was the abominable alphabet spaghetti of spellings that parents use when naming their progeny.)<\/p>\n

Tattoo Parlours worldwide must be looking forward to that day\u2014business will boom! Although, since they\u2019d be working for the government, and therefore be civil servants, the artists might not like the dress code they\u2019d undoubtedly have imposed on them. And since there\u2019s not a lot of scope for creativity in barcodes, these free spirits might seek their jollies elsewhere.<\/p>\n

Tattoos have always been used to show membership or allegiance. For example, mercenaries in the Roman army were tattooed to discourage desertion. Gang membership is also frequently affirmed with tattoos.<\/p>\n

In civilian life, tattoos used to be subtle\u2014a symbol of love or affinity perhaps\u2014but nowadays, the meaning is frequently more explicit.<\/p>\n

Recently, a lady of a certain age (she\u2019s a great-grandmother) decided to use body adornment to inform people that if the question ever arose of her being helped to die or not, she favours the latter. She\u2019s had the words \u201cDon\u2019t euthanize me.\u201d tattooed on her upper arm. The allegiance seems clear enough\u2014she\u2019s a member of the \u201cI don\u2019t wanna be put down\u201d club.<\/p>\n

Just as long as she doesn\u2019t lose the arm in an accident.<\/p>\n

Back in the 1980s, there was a story doing the rounds about a girl who\u2019d had her pubic hair dyed green and a message tattooed above that read, \u201cKeep off the grass\u201d. She was admitted to hospital with acute appendicitis and operated on accordingly. When she regained consciousness she discovered that the surgeon had left a note on her dressing saying, \u201cSorry, had to mow the lawn.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the time, I thought the story was funny as well as true, but during research for this article, I discovered no hard supporting evidence. It might be funny and true, but I suspect it\u2019s just funny.<\/p>\n

However, if you were that girl back in the 1980s, please let me know (and perhaps send modestly-framed<\/em> pictures as proof; I don\u2019t want to be accused of soliciting rude pictures!)<\/p>\n

Along the same lines, there was another story\u2014surely apocryphal\u2014of a young uhm\u2026 gentleman who had the name of his home town tattooed on his uhm\u2026 manhood. When it was \u201clike that\u201d, it read \u201cWow\u201d. When it was \u201clike T-H-A-T\u201d, it read \u201cWalthamstow\u201d.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard the same story in Canada, with \u201cSwan\u201d and \u201cSaskatchewan\u201d replacing \u201cwow\u201d etc.<\/p>\n

What other messages could a person have tattooed? \u201cThis side up\u201d as an instruction to funeral home workers? How about a message somewhere in the \u201cunderwear area\u201d saying, \u201cIf you\u2019re reading this, either we must be really good friends, or you weren\u2019t invited.\u201d Or a message in the same area that would surely kill an amorous moment: \u201cSmile for the CCTV please\u201d.<\/p>\n

Today, many people treat their bodies like some treat walls under bridges or the sides of railcars\u2014as a painter\u2019s canvas. Every inch is covered. There are a significant number of people who find tattoos \u2013even facial tattoos\u2014heck, even genital tattoos!\u2014attractive. And the bottom line (not a line tattooed on one\u2019s buttocks, merely an idiom) is that your body is your own (unless you were the creation of one Dr. Frankenstein) and you should be able to adorn it in any way you like.<\/p>\n

But please count me out. I\u2019ve got enough lines on my face (and elsewhere) without the need for inked-in ones; and mine are etched<\/em> in.<\/p>\n

Although\u2026 perhaps I should get my<\/em> home town\u2014Okotoks\u2014tattooed. That would be Ok, wouldn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A few weeks ago, you may have read that the day we\u2019re all barcoded (or QR coded) would be the day it wouldn\u2019t matter what you call your offspring. (The context was the abominable alphabet spaghetti of spellings that parents use when naming their progeny.) Tattoo Parlours worldwide must be looking forward to that day\u2014business will boom! Although, since they\u2019d… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[490],"tags":[215,217,214,216,218,213],"class_list":["post-443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-commentaries","tag-euthanize","tag-had-to-mow-the-lawn","tag-keep-off-the-grass","tag-mandatory-barcode","tag-okotoks","tag-tattoo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=443"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1597,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/443\/revisions\/1597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}