{"id":325,"date":"2016-06-28T21:26:15","date_gmt":"2016-06-29T03:26:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/?p=325"},"modified":"2020-03-04T15:09:30","modified_gmt":"2020-03-04T22:09:30","slug":"kelvins-guide-to-post-hailstorm-plant-recognition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/2016\/06\/28\/kelvins-guide-to-post-hailstorm-plant-recognition\/","title":{"rendered":"Kelvin\u2019s Guide to Post-hailstorm Plant Recognition"},"content":{"rendered":"

If this was a Twitter post, I\u2019d have called it \u201cShredded Tweet\u201d, but it\u2019s longer than 140 characters, so there\u2019s another opportunity<\/a> missed.<\/p>\n

We just had the mother of all hailstorms. Both Mrs. H and I work from home, and there\u2019s usually someone home at all times, but this afternoon we were out shooting video for a high school grad\u2014the one regular project of the year that requires both of us. Just as we left the venue, the storm broke. We drove the six kilometres home in at times near-zero visibility, having to shout to each other to make ourselves heard. If we\u2019d left fifteen minutes earlier, we\u2019d have missed the storm. As it was, we got home to a shredded garden.<\/p>\n

Given that this is the first year we\u2019ve tried extra special hard to make the yard look pretty, the sense of disappointment and feelings of \u201cwhat\u2019s the point\u201d are much magnified in my mind right now, but Mrs. H is always positive and optimistic, and assures me that they\u2019ll recover.<\/p>\n

I guess Egypt recovered from the plagues of locusts and camels (or whatever the other plagues were), so in the long term, Mrs. H will be proved right. But for this year, we\u2019re looking at a mess.<\/p>\n

So without further ado, here is Kelvin\u2019s guide to post-hailstorm plant recognition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n

1 Tomato<\/h2>\n

Easily recognized by the redundant support cage.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\"Tomato\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

2 Lily<\/h2>\n

\u201cConsider the lily<\/a>\u201d said Brian Cohen in the movie about his life. Well\u2014consider this lily, Brian. And if it bears any resemblance to my garden flipping you the bird, oh well.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\u00a0\"Lily\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

3 Delphinium (Possibly)<\/h2>\n

We never did positively identify it. Now we may never do.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\"Delphinium\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

Begonia<\/h2>\n

Sorry\u2014I have to harp back to Monty Python, and the Gumby Flower Arrangement<\/a> sketch, in which D. P. Gumby refers to \u201cpretty begonias\u201d. These look like the result of his flower arranging.<\/p>\n

Notice the slow-release irrigation technology that this begonia enjoys.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\u00a0\"Begonia\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
\n

5 Wave Petunia<\/h2>\n

Hah\u2014they\u2019re not waving now.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

\u00a0\"WavePetunia\"<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

Mother Nature really does have a sick sense of humour. But if this is what it did to our few flowers and tomato plants, what did it do to local farmers\u2019 crops? Farmers\u2014I do truly feel for you right now.<\/p>\n

And to think that I used to complain about the weather in the old country. More recently, I’ve been feeling a little smug about the atrocious weather over there compared with here.<\/p>\n

What was that John Lennon song about Karma???<\/p>\n

Ah well. The joys of living in southern Alberta. There\u2019s always next year, I suppose. And if we do try for another pretty garden, I\u2019ll be seriously considering installing nuclear blast shields.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If this was a Twitter post, I\u2019d have called it \u201cShredded Tweet\u201d, but it\u2019s longer than 140 characters, so there\u2019s another opportunity missed. We just had the mother of all hailstorms. Both Mrs. H and I work from home, and there\u2019s usually someone home at all times, but this afternoon we were out shooting video for a high school grad\u2014the… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[488,181],"tags":[123,120,122,121],"class_list":["post-325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bbs","category-fake","tag-chinook-gardening","tag-hail-damage","tag-plant-recognition","tag-shredded-tweet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1614,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions\/1614"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}