![\"Zebra](\"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/zonkey.jpg\")
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Headline<\/strong><\/a>: Egypt zoo accused of painting donkey to look like zebra<\/p>\n \u201cDad\u2026 can we go the Disney enclosure now?\u201d<\/p>\n Ptolemy Uppchuk was bored and wanted to go see the brightly-coloured creatures that the Syewdoh Zoo had on show in the \u201cDisney Enclosure\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t you want to see the bears?\u201d replied his father. \u201cThey\u2019ve got polar, black and<\/em> grizzly bears, and they\u2019ve all got cubs right now!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWicked!\u201d exclaimed Ptolemy, using a phrase he and his grade four friends had heard on a 90s TV sitcom.<\/p>\n Father and son checked the zoo map together, then set out towards the bear enclosures. On their way, they passed a grassy area where five donkeys were standing with wicker panniers on their sides and sombrero-like hats on their heads, their ears sticking through holes made for the purpose. The donkeys looked bored, and frankly, slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n Ptolemy regarded the animals with interest and the discerning eye of a ten-year-old zoologist.<\/p>\n \u201cDad,\u201d he said at length. \u201cIt looks like someone\u2019s been painting white stripes on that donkey.\u201d<\/p>\n Uppchuk senior looked. \u201cSo it does,\u201d he observed.<\/p>\n \u201cWait a minute!\u201d he continued. \u201cLook at the ears. They\u2019re not donkeys\u2019 ears! \u201c<\/p>\n \u201cGood spot!\u201d said a youngish woman standing within earshot of the Uppchuks. \u201cAnd \u2018well done\u2019 young man for spotting the white stripe!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf they\u2019re not donkeys, then what are they?\u201d asked Ptolemy.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you think?\u201d asked the woman, who from her uniform was most likely a zookeeper, and who from her nametag was called Kali.<\/p>\n \u201cWell they\u2019re not horses,\u201d said Ptolemy. \u201cAre they\u2026 z\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGo on,\u201d said Kali encouragingly.<\/p>\n \u201cZebras?\u201d said Ptolemy.<\/p>\n \u201cYes!\u201d exclaimed Kali.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy would you paint zebras to look like donkeys?\u201d asked Mr. U.<\/p>\n \u201cGood question!\u201d replied Kali a little over-enthusiastically. \u201cWe actually have too many zebras, so we provide a little variety for visitors by making some of the zebras look like donkeys. We know it\u2019s slightly deceitful, so we run a competition for visitors to look for other \u2018enhanced\u2019 animals. The details are on the back of the map.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr. U. tuned the map over and scanned the text.<\/p>\n \u201cIt says there are eleven \u2018visually enhanced or disguised species\u2019 in the zoo. And if we spot all eleven, we get to take home a zebra.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s right!\u201d beamed Kali. \u201cNo home is complete without a pet zebra!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs that right?\u201d remarked Mr. U., drily.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we win a zebra, Dad? Please? Please! Please<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat does he want now?\u201d said Mrs. U., who with their eight-year-old daughter had just rejoined the menfolk.<\/p>\n \u201cHe wants to enter a competition to win a zebra,\u201d said Mr. U. \u201cWe have to find eleven different animals that have been \u2018visually enhanced or disguised\u2019. Like those zebras over there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey\u2019re donkeys, Daddy,\u201d said Cleopatra.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, they\u2019re not, honey,\u201d replied Mr. U. \u201cSee their ears? Zebra ears. And see that white stripe on the one nearest to us? That\u2019s where the paint has worn off. They\u2019re zebras.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhat a silly zoo!\u201d exclaimed Cleo. \u201cI wondered why the elephants are all yellow!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd why do you think that is, sweetie?\u201d interjected Kali.<\/p>\n \u201cSo they can hide in a bowl of custard?\u201d enquired Ptolemy, remembering an old joke his grandpa had told him.<\/p>\n \u201cGood answer,\u201d said Kali, \u201cbut it\u2019s so they look interesting. The zoo would be so dull if the elephants were all grey and the panthers were all black and the penguins and giant pandas were all black and white!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy are all<\/em> the elephants yellow then?\u201d asked Ptolemy. \u201cWhy aren\u2019t some of them green or blue?\u201d<\/p>\n Kali\u2019s walkie-talkie chose that moment to crackle into life. Kali answered it, and the Uppchuks moved on.<\/p>\n In the \u201cBearea\u201d\u2014the corner of the zoo dedicated to ursine creatures\u2014Mr. & Mrs. U. gasped in shock and surprise as they noticed the amateur paint jobs on the residents. A grizzly bear had been poorly spray-painted white in an effort to make it resemble a polar bear, and several black bears had been dyed a dark, unnatural, gothic shade of black\u2014made more obvious by the cinnamon-coloured roots that were showing.<\/p>\n Cleo read one of the interpretive signs.<\/p>\n \u201cIt says here that the zoo thinks it\u2019s cruel to keep polar bears in a warm climate and that\u2019s why they\u2019ve painted grizzly bears white.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMakes sense,\u201d said Mrs. U.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd this one says that the black bears have been painted black so visitors don\u2019t get confused,\u201d said Ptolemy.<\/p>\n \u201cAren\u2019t black bears black, Mummy?\u201d asked Cleopatra.<\/p>\n \u201cNot all of them, honey,\u201d replied Mrs. U. \u201cSome are grey, or cinnamon-coloured.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd white rhinos aren\u2019t white,\u201d said Ptolemy, proud to show his knowledge.<\/p>\n \u201cYou never know in this<\/em> zoo,\u201d observed Mr. U.<\/p>\n The Uppchuks toured the zoo, looking for the eleven \u201cenhanced\u201d animals and found seventeen of them. They included a neon pink chameleon (painted that colour so visitors could locate it easily) and a pair of leopards with square spots. The sign on their enclosure (or \u201cSquarea\u201d as it was called) said that the square spots were not painted on\u2014they were a very rare species of \u201cL7\u201d leopards, but the Uppchuks weren\u2019t fooled, and they added the leopards to the list.<\/p>\n In the Aquaria (named so it too rhymed with \u201cBearea\u201d and \u201csquarea\u201d, although, by coincidence, there was more than one aquarium in the building) the Uppchuks discovered that every single fish was a herring \u201cenhanced\u201d to look like the species on the tank\u2019s nametag. The angelfish all had wings and halos painted on; the angler fish had a fishing rod and tackle box in their tank, and each of the clownfish had a bright red nose painted on them and oversize shoes fixed to their pelvic fins. The interpretive sign pointed out that maintaining viable stocks of a large variety of fish species was costly, so the zoo had kept visitor costs down by successfully bidding for a job lot of herring on eBay.<\/p>\n It was time to go home. All they had to do was to collect their zebra. By coincidence, Kali was on duty at the booth where winning entries could be presented. She looked at the list, her eyes widening as she checked off the answers.<\/p>\n \u201cWow! guys,\u201d she said, \u201cyou went above and beyond! Most people stop at eleven and are happy with one<\/em> zebra, but with all seventeen, you get two!\u201d<\/p>\n Mum and Dad groaned. But Ptolemy & Cleopatra could barely contain their excitement.<\/p>\n \u201cMay I name them, please?\u201d they both asked at the same time.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t you name one each? Suggested Mrs. U.<\/p>\n \u201cYou realize you\u2019ll have to walk them every day, and pick up their poop,\u201d said Mr. U.<\/p>\n \u201cWe don\u2019t care!\u201d said Ptolemy. \u201cDo we, Cleo?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou might not,\u201d replied Cleo. But there\u2019s no way I\u2019m going to touch poop!\u201d<\/p>\n Just then, Kali appeared, leading two zebras. Cleo\u2019s heart melted immediately.<\/p>\n \u201cOkay,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll pick up their poop.\u201d<\/p>\n Kali gave one zebra leash to each of the children. The animals seemed surprisingly docile considering that historically, most attempts to domesticate zebras fail.<\/p>\n \u201cHello, Stripey,\u201d said Cleo to her animal.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s a stupid name!\u201d said Ptolemy. \u201cIsn\u2019t it, Crossing?\u201d he added, looking at his zebra.<\/p>\n The Uppchuks and their newly-acquired menagerie made their way to the parking lot. Mr. U. was wondering how they\u2019d get the four of them plus two zebras home in the VW Beetle when he noticed some white paint peeling off the rump of Cleo\u2019s zebra.<\/p>\n \u201cO-h n-o-o-o,\u201d he groaned. \u201cWhat have they given us?\u201d<\/p>\n He stroked the nearest zebra. It whinnied gently and nosed the pocket containing his chewing gum. He moved to the side and rubbed some more of the paint off, revealing the boundary between an island of brown and an ocean of white. His suspicions mounting, he moved back to the front of the animal.<\/p>\n \u201cSorry to tell you this, kids,\u201d said Mr. U., \u201cbut these aren\u2019t zebras. They\u2019re horses.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, given the name of the place, what did you expect?\u201d said Mrs. U.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do you mean hon?\u201d queried Mr. U.<\/p>\n \u201cSyewdoh<\/em> Zoo?\u201d<\/p>\n She paused, waiting for realization to dawn.<\/p>\n It didn\u2019t\u2014darkness prevailed.<\/p>\n \u201cSyewdoh\u2026 The \u2018p\u2019 is silent?\u201d she said. \u201cAs in \u201cPtolemy?\u201d she added.<\/p>\n Dawn dawned, and just like the ending of a cheesy feel-good American 60s movie, the entire family looked at each other and laughed, leaving the audience to wonder what the point of the story was and why the hell the zoo would give away ponies when they\u2019ve got too many zebras.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Headline: Egypt zoo accused of painting donkey to look like zebra \u201cDad\u2026 can we go the Disney enclosure now?\u201d Ptolemy Uppchuk was bored and wanted to go see the brightly-coloured creatures that the Syewdoh Zoo had on show in the \u201cDisney Enclosure\u201d. \u201cDon\u2019t you want to see the bears?\u201d replied his father. \u201cThey\u2019ve got polar, black and grizzly bears, and… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1335,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[487],"tags":[612,616,613],"class_list":["post-1334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-donkey","tag-zebra","tag-zoo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1334"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1334\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1335"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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