Do you like to go in front first or back first? Or do you prefer to pull through?<\/p>\n
In case there\u2019s any confusion, let me clear things up. We\u2019re talking about parking. And the conversation is important, as are my opening questions, because society needs to know why <\/em>a driver makes the parking choice that he or she does. In fact, I don\u2019t think it would be overstating the phenomenon if I said that the future of civilization depends upon the discovery of a satisfactory explanation.<\/p>\n Several factors may be at play.<\/p>\n For example, what parking habit would you expect to see if a self-centred, Trump-voting (but I repeat myself) male were to enter a parking lot driving a jacked-up black pickup truck with skulls and crossbones everywhere, \u201cprairie oysters\u201d hanging from the trailer hitch, wheel nuts that look like they came off a Roman war chariot, and the name of his wife (and cousin) emblazoned across the top of the windshield?<\/p>\n If you answered, \u201che\u2019d park across as many bays as he can cuz he doesn\u2019t give a rat\u2019s\u201d, you\u2019d win the prize for guessing correctly, although you\u2019d then have it confiscated for judging people\u2019s personalities by their appearances and accessory choices\u2014we just don\u2019t do that anymore, do we!<\/p>\n If you drive a small vehicle in a country or region where large vehicles are the norm, you\u2019ll understand the challenges of parking lots. I drive a VW Golf in a region where a large percentage of vehicles are pickup trucks, minivans, SUVs, or crossovers. The hoods of some of these beasts are higher than the roof of my car\u2014I sometimes think I should install a periscope so I can see over the vehicles to pull out of a parking spot.<\/p>\n Fortunately, I like walking, so I park a little way away from the store entrances, where there\u2019s usually a choice of spots. I choose a pull-through if I can, and hope that a pickup truck with a centre of gravity that\u2019s higher than my periscope doesn\u2019t park next to me. (Chances of that happening are slim for reasons that political correctness prevents me from verbalizing.) If there\u2019s no pull-through, then I\u2019ll back into a spot. I find that driving out is easier than backing out; other drivers will stop for you when you\u2019re staring them in the face rather than peering at them over your shoulder.<\/p>\n If I drove a low-slung European sports convertible, I probably wouldn\u2019t park it in a north American parking lot at all. Knowing my luck, a pickup truck that\u2019s so jacked up you need a ladder to get in and out would park on<\/em> my car.<\/p>\n Liberal voters\u2019 parking priorities tend to be concerned more with centrality than orientation\u2014they want to make sure they don\u2019t offend people by parking more than a millimetre off-centre of the parking spot, in case they make it difficult for the owner of the car next to them to open her door.<\/p>\n Right-wing voters, by contrast, complain about \u201cbig government making unnecessary laws about where I can and cannot park\u201d, and park in the fire lane.<\/p>\n Green party voters put their bicycles in the rack provided.<\/p>\n Over-zealous adherents of any religious persuasion will trust that they will be guided to the perfect parking spot, while atheists\u2019 parking habits are those they learned from their parents.<\/p>\n Confident drivers will make their choice based on other factors, while those who need a double garage for their Smart Car will tend to ask a passer-by to park for them.<\/p>\n Gender is<\/em> a factor in parking preferences, but the situation has been complicated by the acknowledgement of non-binary genders, so further study is needed.<\/p>\n And there you have it. The low-down skinny on parking preferences.<\/p>\n I did make one omission. I have yet to identify the attributes of the significant number of people who can\u2019t or won\u2019t park within the confines of a single spot. What do they have in common? Are they manspreaders? Are they \u201cthose people\u201d that overflow into your seat in an airplane? Do they sit on the fence politically; religiously; sexually? Or are they just thoughtless prats?<\/p>\n One thing\u2019s certain. The whole question of parking is a first-world issue. After all, we have stores with stuff in them, parking lots outside them, and vehicles to drive to them in.<\/p>\n And the day isn\u2019t too far off when every car will be able to park itself. And then we\u2019ll have one fewer reason to throw a hissy fit behind the wheel.<\/p>\n So next time you\u2019re struggling in a parking lot, remember\u2014if it was a hundred years ago, you\u2019d have to worry about the horse next to your car eating your upholstery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you like to go in front first or back first? Or do you prefer to pull through? In case there\u2019s any confusion, let me clear things up. We\u2019re talking about parking. And the conversation is important, as are my opening questions, because society needs to know why a driver makes the parking choice that he or she does. In… Read more »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[181,490],"tags":[586,585,583,588,584,587],"class_list":["post-1240","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fake","category-the-commentaries","tag-horse","tag-manspread","tag-parking","tag-pull-through","tag-stereotypes","tag-upholstery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1240"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1240\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1240"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1240"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/reggothard.com\/kelvin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1240"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n