Category Archives: Bite-sized Bizarreness

Short pieces that comment on bizarre news items etc. Usually 1000 words or so.

Digging Holes for Democracy

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News headline: More people in the USA are killed by lawnmowers than by terrorists. The following are excerpts from a transcript of a speech (to be) given by future USA President Derek Benditt on New Year’s Day 2049, the eight thousandth day of his presidency. Benditt was (or more correctly, will be) a product of the Social Media age, where… Read more »

Stella & Guy Have Dinner

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(The story so far… Stella is a contestant in a “Miss Sea Star Canada” pageant, and during a pre-competition visit to the ladies’ room, the suckers on her very realistic starfish costume got her stuck to the wall. Guy, a security officer and her knight in shining armour, rescued her by releasing her limb by limb from her costume. By… Read more »

Beheading to Death as a Past Time

News item: “Saudi Arabia is to behead a… man to death…” News item: “Shopping is one of our most traditional past times” I spotted both the above two editing fails on the same day. At the time, I thought of ranting about poor editorial standards, but thought better of it. I think the following script, which was inspired by my… Read more »

Reddy Mc Redface

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The “XXXy McXXXFace” meme/fad seems to have gained a life of its own and spread to places one would never have expected it to. For many, the most famous example is “Boaty McBoatFace”, a suggestion made for the name of a polar research vessel in the UK. But dig a little deeper, and you’ll find references to, for example, “Hooty… Read more »

Squished Earth

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News Item: Why do people still think the Earth is flat? Why indeed? I watched the video embedded in the above article, and tried really, really hard to take at face value what was being said. One gentleman pointed out that man hasn’t yet drilled more than eight miles into the ground (I haven’t verified that) so there’s no knowledge… Read more »

Living on the Edge

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Headline: “Roadkill deaths driving some species to the edge” The animals of Nickeldime Wood had convened at the Old Lightning Tree for what in less politically-sensitive times would have been referred to colloquially as a pow wow. Friend and foe, and predator and prey were all gathered there. Such meetings were rare, but if one thing was guaranteed to bring… Read more »

Calling a Spade a Shovel

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The art of digging is dying. No, I’m not looking for a gravedigging pun here. (Actually, I did look, but couldn’t find one.) Long considered men’s work, most men could handle a spade and a shovel quite well even if they didn’t labour for a living, because so many families grew their own vegetables. Many women would have become expert… Read more »

Typewriter or Lathe

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Are you a typewriter eater or a lathe eater? Here’s another question. Are you a hater or a lover of articles that attempt to pigeon-hole you? Whatever… read on. Here in southern Alberta, Taber corn is much sought-after, for some reason. Whenever we see a sign for Taber corn, we flock like bees to a honeypot or flies to… well,… Read more »

Silly Season 2017

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There was a time when news media reported interesting and important happenings in a sober fashion. Well, for most of the year, anyway—August (give or take) was known as “Silly Season” in the UK and elsewhere. A quick thumb through the internet revealed that the reason for Silly Season is that the amount of government and business news declines in… Read more »